Sex… It never needs to be complicated but let’s face it, men and women are chalk and cheese. And sometimes understanding what the other sex desires is not always as easy as it looks. Men themselves are complex creatures (and they say us women are difficult… pfff) but they are also simple in their needs and desires also. Always be as confident as you can. Being enthralled in your sexiness can help take their mind off their own insecurities (and believe me they have just as many insecurities as us women).
1) Take control
Communication during sex is the ultimate key to great sex, and this does not mean “dirty talk” although that is also fun. We mean communicating on what you like or what you don’t. if you don’t like something then say it. It’s not doing anyone any favors if you don’t express how you do or don’t like something. Don’t rely on ambiguous gestures and noises.
If you don’t like something, then guide them to how you would prefer it – sex is not the time to be shy. You want to try something in a different angle? Then say it. Generally, it’s expected that the guy be the dominant one in a sexual encounter. We say – why? Turn it around and you take over. Keep him on his toes (you’ll probably even see a little sparkle in his eye)
2) Do your part
Let’s face it nothing is worse than a sexual partner who just lays there (like a dead fish). Get motivated, be into it! Its sex! It’s meant to be fun! If you’re just going to lay there then really you’re nothing better than a slightly warmer blow up doll. Look we get it, even Great sex can get a little bit monotonous so change it up – try sex in a new location. Maybe the lounge, in the car or even on the kitchen bench! Maybe try a little role play, or maybe something as sensual as taking a bath together.
3) Fore – what? Foreplay!
Men need foreplay too! Yes you read that correctly. Think of it as an intro into the main event. And we don’t just mean a stroke here and a rub there. Mental Foreplay. This can start throughout the day. Little texts and messages throughout the day. Romance, seduction and every emotional aspect of sex works on men too. A lot of the fun in foreplay is in the mind – so have fun with it.
4) Quality over Quantity
More sex doesn’t mean better sex! If you are concerned that you and your partner aren’t bonking like rabbits. Don’t. Most couples have sex once a week and it’s been found that the more energy you are putting into your regular weekly romp the better it is over the long haul. You may think that men want sex 100% of the time. Not the case. Don’t always wait for him to initiate.
If you’re in the mood , and he’s not acting, then GO FOR IT. Dirty talk! The power of some sexy banter in the bedroom is seriously underplayed. Not the easiest thing for some woman to do without feeling like a fish out of water. Read an erotic novel and get ideas from there. So…many…naughty…innuendoes. And ladies – talk to your gal pals. You’d be surprised with the things some of them have stored in their dirty talk vault.
5) Exercise & done skimp out on the D! (vitamin D!..)
Believe it or not, exercise is good for your sex drive. Exercise improves the circulation in your body, and this includes the blood to your genitals. This extra flow of blood increases your desire and lifts your mood. And really when did those endorphins ever really hurt anyone? And as for the vitamin D, we weren’t kidding about it being good for your sexual health.
Too much sun can damage the skin (we have all heard the slip, slop, slap motto), vitamin D is essential for estrogen production in women and testosterone production in men. It boosts your libido. Have you ever noticed that you tend to feel on the friskier side during those summer months – well this is the reason why.
6) Experiment & Kinks
Have you got a kink? You will need to tell them. Especially if it’s of the variety of liking a bit of choking around the neck, or maybe you like your hair pulled. These are things you need to voice as they aren’t likely to just go out on a limb and assume that’s your thing or whether doing so will put them in jail.
If you want something, then just ask for it. (there’s that communication thing again…) Shopping for toys together can also be fun. (Naughty but Nice online has everything you need by the way – if you were wondering where to go). This could mean couple vibrators, to massage oils and flavored lubricants to blindfolds and handcuffs.
7) They love how you taste down there!
So you haven’t had time to tame hairs on your legs, nor have you been able “freshen” up down there, and you don’t smell like you’ve walked through a field of bath bombs. Don’t stress! As long as you have the basic hygiene under control, it’s really not the be all to end all if you aren’t pristine at all times down there. A lot of women can get really self conscious about this – but don’t worry.
Men actually love the way you taste down there. But while I’m on the talk of oral – don’t do it halfway. Men love also love the act of receiving and if you’re doing it half-assed or like it’s some kind of chore, he will sense this. Honestly ladies – try some flavored lubricants, You’ll be sucking like it’s your last dessert. Just remember males will be ultra sensitive down there after oral also. So be gentle ladies.
8) Morning and Afternoon delight
Men and women handle the weekly life stresses differently and because of this, couples can sometimes feel a little mismatched. You aren’t alone. Men see sex as a stress reliever while women want to have sex after they’ve had time to unwind… See the issue here?! So an alternative is to have sex in the morning! (ignoring any morning breathe) A males testosterone levels peak in the morning.
Another alternative is to have sex on the weekend in the afternoon. A little weekend afternoon delight! Women tend to ovulate in the afternoon, this means the optimal hormone level for female sexual desire is during this time. Don’t forget sex is a lot of cardio – so don’t be afraid to jump on top and take the reins for a bit – he will appreciate it.
Lastly, don’t forget to pee after sex! It honestly surprises us how many women don’t understand the importance of doing this within 30min of having sex. UTI’s are real ladies!